Underground Rivers

I'd heard of them.  There's one in Idaho that remains submerged for something like thirty miles, covered by an ancient lava flow, inhabited by blind albino fish (who no doubt try to avoid the hooks of blind, albino, Zima-drinking fishermen).

Let me preface the rest of the story by saying that aunt Harriet's death was completely unexpected.  When I asked about her condition soon after she was admitted to the hospital, I was sure the nurse said "air conditioned".  Anita questions my intelligence and sanity in not so kind terms, and swears the nurse said "fair condition".

Anyway, back to the subject of underground rivers.  I wasn't aware of the less well known, but more common variety until we attempted to dig up aunt Harriet to see if she had inadvertently packed the jewelry that was missing from her will.  You can imagine our surprise when we discovered that the ground beneath her headstone contained nothing more than empty milk containers, aluminum cans, plastic garbage bags, and an old washing machine that had drifted down from the sanitary landfill on the hill.  The Andersons may well be in for a big surprise when they go

to dig their potatoes this fall.

I guess it's not such an interesting story.  I'm going to go out and try my luck fishing now.  I'll keep you informed if anything out of the ordinary happens.  Have you ever heard of cheese tornadoes?